More Self-Love

July 5, 2018

Somedays I can look at other people, their successes, and their talents, and wonder why did I get the short end of the stick? Why me? What’s so great about me and what talents do I even have? How did they get so lucky? Other days, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror doing some sort of quirky move, and I think, “wow, I am glad to be me. I love that I am lively and fun.” This, my friend, is my battle of self-love. Somedays I win, some days I lose.

In my opinion, self-love is one of the most important things in life. Let me tell you why I believe this. The first and foremost reason: you are “you” for your entire life. You might as well love yourself. My second reason is: self-love is the motive that drives you to do the most remarkable things in life.

Humans need love. Love is a physiological need just as much as food and water is a need. Most people expect this love to come from family, friends, etc., but this is where the problem arises. Seeking love from others is seeking love from external sources. You may end up disappointed if you rely on external sources of love. This is where self-love comes in. Self-love is your source of internal love; love that you are in control of.

Self-love is what will fuel you through your life, through the good and bad times. But, we all know it is easier said than done. In a world where there is a perception of perfection, self-love may be a challenge.

Tips for More Self Love

  • Be aware of your self-talk. Your self-talk is more powerful than you think. Your subconscious mind is always listening, and it believes everything you say. If you wouldn’t talk to those that you love in such a way, then you most definitely shouldn’t talk about yourself in the same manner. Being conscious of your thoughts is the first step to self-love. When you notice that little voice in your head bringing you down, recognize the thought and replace it with a positive affirmation. For example: replace, “Why can’t I do anything right?” with “It’s okay, I will try again. This time I will be successful.”
  • Finding your Beauty. If you cannot love yourself before you lose the 10lbs, you probably won’t love yourself after you lose the 10lbs. Your self-love shouldn’t be a destination if or when something is achieved. Find your beauty beyond your appearance, for your soul has beauty of its own. In this blog post, “I am not my Body – Spiritual Identification,” ( ) the post introduces the idea of spiritual identification versus physical identification. Spiritual Identification is the process or act of recognizing one’s true self. It is the very core of who we are, and it is beyond our worldly self. Loving your true self, the very core of who you are is what self-love is.
  • Take care of yourself. Your needs are important; they are your priority. Taking care of yourself means to take care of your mind, body, and spirit. Feed your body nutritious foods, exercise and stretch regularly, and make sure your body is getting enough sleep. By doing so, you will feel more energized. Read books or do puzzles to exercise the mind. Breathing exercises or mediation are ways you can connect your mind, body, and spirit; these activities will also help you manage stress and anxiety.


Self-love is essential for a happy, healthy life. When we love ourselves, we open up to our greatest potential. We will receive greater life satisfaction, more motivation for creating healthy habits, and a better ability to deal with life’s obstacles.

I believe self-love is an area in life that we can all work on, especially myself. I challenge everyone to focus on self-love for an entire week, an entire month if you can. Say your daily affirmations, write a list of things you’re grateful for each day, do your best to eat healthy and exercise regularly, and of course recognize that you are beautiful even beyond your appearance.

G., Wendy. “The Importance of Self-Love.” 14 April 2017. Brook Haven Retreat.

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